Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Eyes Wide Open: Will the dominant one please stand up?
by Talia Jae Potter
I have joined twitter... I caved in. I am finding it quite interesting because, instead of using it as yet another social network, I am following news media that is unbiased and groups or people who discuss topics that are close to me.
One such person I added admits to being a feminist man and thinks strong, driven women are great and likes to be the submissive one in the relationship. I don't know this guy but he does have some interesting points to make. So we struck up a conversation about dominance in relationships....
His opinion was that women deserve to be the dominant leader in the relationship and for a lot of men this is attractive. He states that gender roles are an issue and media peg holes us into stereotypes. I agree somewhat with him but asked this....
"Why does there need to be a dominant person in the relationship?"
His response was that women who are natural leaders and men who are submissive are a good match. I guess I can see how this is true. Two highly competitive leaders in a relationship could get ugly when it turns into a competition for success. It could also be a power-house couple.
But in reality wouldn't a relationship with two EQUAL partners be best? Idealistic at best but it seems to me that there is this strong push, on both sides of the topic, for one or the other gender to dominate, leaving the other to submit. Relationships are full of moments where one person may take over and the other backs down but I would like to think that equals, no matter the gender, sexuality, etc.., would be the most successful in their partnership.
This whole dominance vs submission argument reminds me of another hot topic: Why does there have to be good vs bad?
Why can't we just be......