Friday, November 13, 2009

Black Women and "Good Hair"

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By Tonya L Jones

I am not my hair

I am not this skin

I am not your expectations

I am not my hair

I am not this skin

I am soul that lives within

I love these lyrics from India. Arie’s song “I Am Not My Hair.” The song’s powerful message is that she will not allow society to define who she is, as a black woman, by how she wears her hair or by her skin color. These days, it is imperative that black women be bold like India. Arie, and resist the media’s narrow definition of what is black womanhood. I believe the recent obsession with black women's hair, bodies, and well—everything, is due to the emergence of The First Lady, Michelle Obama. The last ten years have not been kind to the black woman’s image. We have been stereotyped as “hoochies” “ghetto,” “baby mamas,” and that we have “attitudes.” Our society has grown comfortable with the caricatures of black women, so when a Michelle Obama appeared on the scene, folks did not know what to do with her. It was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Michelle Obama’s life defies the stereotypes. And because her image is the antithesis of what people have come to believe about black women, she has been under attack.

Over the summer, articles popped up in newspapers and on blogs, dissecting The First Lady’s hair, behind, and arms. By constantly placing Michelle Obama under a microscope, it was an attempt by the media to put “her in her place.” Black women aren’t supposed to feel comfortable in their own skin, and Mrs. Obama exudes confidence. The media seeks to undermine this rare positive image of black womanhood, to continue the annihilation of the black woman’s image. So it is no coincidence, that comedian Chris Rock’s film “Good Hair,” was recently released in theaters. The documentary (or should be more appropriately called “mockumentary”) chronicles the hair issues of black women. I have not seen the film and have no intentions to do so.

Of course, people have asked me how I can criticize the movie if I have not seen it. I have viewed enough clips from the movie to be able to gauge that the film is offensive to black women. To be honest, I have a problem with Chris Rock, anyway. I feel his comedy routines have an underlying contempt for black women. I couldn’t believe when he had a whole routine on why a black woman would make a terrible First Lady, just at the time when we were about to have the “first” First Black Lady, during the past Presidential election.

Chris Rock: “I don’t think a black woman can be first lady of the United States. Yeah, I said it! A black woman can be president, no problem. First lady? Can’t do it. You know why? Because a black woman cannot play the background of a relationship. Just imagine telling your black wife that you’re president? ‘Honey, I did it! I won! I’m the president.’ ‘No, we the president! And I want my girlfriends in the Cabinet! I want Kiki to be secretary of state! She can fight!”

I know some people will say, it’s just comedy, lighten up. But we always have to be aware of who the media decides to promote, as representatives of our communities. They generally tend to be people who are not a threat to the status quo, and who (knowingly or not) uphold the media’s agenda of normalizing oppression. Chris Rock fits this role perfectly.

In the film “Good Hair,” Rock depicts black women going to extremes to achieve long, flowing hair with weaves and relaxers (a chemical treatment that straightens out kinky hair). It is stated in the film, many black women have forgone paying their rent, to spend thousands on a weave! I am actually a natural-haired black woman. I cut off my relaxed hair and started growing out a little Afro, almost five years ago. I used to frequent the salon to get my hair relaxed and to have a ponytail attached (a long, fake extension) and yes, sometimes it could get expensive, but I can honestly say I never thought about not paying my rent just to get my hair done! And I know of no black woman who has ever done this either! That statement reinforces the stereotype that black women are irresponsible and require high-maintenance (I read a review that stated perhaps that’s why some black men prefer to date white women because they won’t be as expensive as a black woman!).

I have viewed a clip from the movie, when Rock travels to India to visit a Hindi temple, where the women shave their heads for a traditional ceremony. Often, the hair from the Indian women is used to make weaves. Rock interviews an Indian woman and proceeds to tell her to “run if you ever see a black woman coming.” The idea that black women are so desperate for “good hair,” they would yank it right off the head of an Indian woman, is insulating. Rock’s approach to the topic of black women’s hair reeks of misogyny. At one point in the film, he is shown trying to sell “kinky” black hair and is rejected. He goes on to say it seems black hair is only good for packing boxes.

I have read that Rock’s movie was an attempt to answer his daughter’s question, “What is good hair?” He hoped to give insight, as to why, black women rely so heavily on weaves and relaxers. The problem though, is that he tends to degrade natural hair too. Black women are viewed as being vain and even “silly” for the way they alter their hair, but he doesn’t seem to have a positive view about natural hair, either. It is interesting that natural-haired black women and the growing natural hair movement of many black women, was not discussed in the film (Rock interviewed one natural-haired black woman).

I also find it strange Rock’s film makes no mention of white racism and oppression of black women’s hair. Black women didn’t just wake up out of the blue gluing weave to their hair. There has been a systematic attempt to make black women feel bad about their natural hair texture. It goes back to slavery, when black women were forced to cover up their “kinky” hair with handkerchiefs, so as not offend their white slave masters. There have been black women forced to sue their employers who wanted them to take out their braided hairstyles or locks. The black women celebrated by the media uphold white hair beauty standards. The most popular black female celebrity today is the singer Beyonce, who frequently wears blonde weaves. There are no alternative images celebrating black women’s natural hair. It is not surprising many black women have normalized straight hair as the “appropriate” way to style their hair.

I recently watched Chris Rock promoting his film on the Oprah show. At one point, a black woman stood up and nervously stated she felt Rock’s film degraded black women. Rock looked surprised. He and Oprah then proceeded to tag team the woman, trying to shut down her genuine concern of what she felt was stereotypical images of black women in his film. The black woman went on to say that a white woman in the audience said her hair was pretty, but was it real? The black woman said she was hurt and insulted by that comment, and as a professional black woman, that was the type of nonsense she had to deal with in corporate America. She felt Rock’s film was just giving white people (particularly white women) more fodder to be bolder in their interactions with black women. The fact that a white woman felt she had the right to a black woman’s body and demand that she tell her if her hair was real or not. It feeds into the idea of black women as Other.

We live in a society that upholds white women as the pinnacle of womanhood. Women of color (and especially black women), have historically been used as what is not feminine, as a way to maintain white women as the standard of beauty. Rock’s film feeds into some white women’s superiority complex that black women are spending “thousands” of dollars to be beautiful “just like them.” It doesn’t help that Rock often mentions that he loved when he dated white women and was able to “run his hands through their hair without his fingers getting stuck.” This is the mentality of Chris Rock, and most likely helped frame his mocking attitude towards black women’s hair dilemmas in “Good Hair.” I have read reviews by black women about this movie, and many noted they felt Rock lacked compassion for black women’s struggles with their hair.

While I personally would love to see more black women embrace their natural hair and just say no to weaves and relaxers, I understand why many black women don’t. The societal pressures to conform and be seen as “presentable” at work and in the public are enormous. The journey to accepting “kinky” hair can be a long one and it’s up to black women to individually decide when/if they are ready to do so. The root of the problem isn’t with black women, but with white racism and the marginalization of black women’s bodies. The fear and even loathsome attitudes towards blackness and kinky hair needs to be addressed. Now that is a documentary I would pay to go see.

Twilight and its abusive propaganda



by Talia Jae


So I wrote a very long blog all about this and then it got deleted.
After recovering from angst over this I am going to write another version of what I said.

Nick and I rented Twilight last night. I knew I wouldn't like it and
probably be offended by most of the content but I had no idea. The relationship in the movie is a self proclaimed, "dangerous version of the classic star-crossed lovers" and i supposed in a sad way they are right. Although, probably not in the way they intended.

Between banter about his inability to control his rage and lust for
her blood and her growing love for this dangerous boy, it seems that the whole relationship is one torrid love affair sprinkled with abuse and control. Its a perfect example of how media influences the way we expect relationships to go when we are in one.

She loves him more and more as he pushes and pulls her, stalks her,
watches her sleep, violently expresses how dangerous he is, threatens to suck her blood and boasts about how he can kill her with one bite. Yes this is fantasy, no it is not new. But hell, she begs him to kill her in the end so they can live eternally together. The more possessive he is, the more she attaches to him and loses herself in order to be with a boy.

It makes me sad for young girls who see this movie. I would never let my girls see it. It is the best example of an abusive relationship I have seen in any recent movie. We wonder why women get into abusive relationships and why they stay. One huge part of it is the way the media portrays "Love". It is shoved in our faces every day. The man is strong, aggressive, explosive, possessive, unable to control his desire and rage. The woman is meek, submissive, available, dependent and weak. We are shown that true love is passion and rage to the extreme and the more a man controls the relationship and us women, the more he loves us.

This is a toxic combination. Every day, three women are killed by intimate
partners. Every minute a woman is abused. Every day shelters put women and children on waiting lists because they are busting at the seams with women escaping domestic violence and a man threatening their lives.

Then we turn on the TV and this abuse is glorified and desired in the
name of love. No thank you. I had a prince Eric. He left me with a baby, no home, and emotionally and mentally beaten. Our relationship was that of Edward and Bella's. These stories are not happy endings and to expose young women to them is to warp their views of their own self worth and the way a relationship should be.

Inspire the women of tomorrow to stand up and fight off these images instead of embarrassing them.

Men do not lose control and abuse, they use control to abuse.

An objective look at gay marriage

By Talia Jae

This is a paper I wrote for a writing class. Its purely objective so
it does not have my personal opinion in it (although I'm sure you can
guess what it is). I don't agree with most of the opposition to gay
marriage but for the paper's sake I had to include it.


The idea of coming out as gay, lesbian, or queer is a very scary thing
for most homosexuals. In society today there is much controversy
surrounding the idea of men and women being attracted to anyone other
than the opposite sex. Families and communities are torn because of
this issue and many times ostracize individuals who dare to be
themselves. This leads into the issue of not only recognizing the idea
of different sexualities, but also recognizing the partnerships
between these people. Some feel that it is unnatural and immoral to be
homosexual, while others feel that everyone has a right to be
attracted and partnered to any person of any sex. Because of this, the
idea of gay marriage is a very charged issue.

There is a huge stigma around the idea of acknowledging these
partnerships and allowing them to have the same right to marry as a
straight couple does. Currently, there are only four states that
recognize same sex marriage and a few more that have repealed laws
allowing same sex marriage. One large factor that is influencing these
laws is the idea that same sex partners threaten the sanctity of
traditional marriage. The religious community feels that it will be
detrimental to society. Others believe that the love and commitment
between two people, gay or straight, has no effect on anyone else but
those two partners. The greater issue here is the idea of equality
between people of all sexualities.

The idea of equal rights for homosexuals has been supported and fought
for by people in the gay community as well as their allies. Those in
support of gay marriage rights have been fighting to pass laws in all
states that will allow gay couples to legally marry just as straight
couples have. They feel that someone should not have their rights as a
human taken away because of the person they are partnered with. If a
gay couple can legally be married then it gives them the right to make
medical decisions on behalf of each other. It will also allow them to
collect life insurance or pensions that one partner may have through a
career. The opposing side does not agree.

Some people in society don’t agree with the idea of gay marriage and
gay rights. They believe that gay marriage threatens the idea of
marriage as a holy union between a man and a woman. There is a belief
that allowing homosexuals to marry will dilute the sacred union and
create more divorces. They feel that more people of any sexuality
being allowed to marry will create an idea of commitments being taken
less serious and cause more polygamy. This idea causes some to feel
that homosexuality promotes multiple partners versus a lifelong
commitment.

With this idea in mind, gay marriage also challenges the model of the
nuclear family. Supporters of gay marriage believe that same sex
partners should have equal rights to raise children, this being one
partner’s biological child or a mutually adopted child. Not having the
right to legally marry affects a same sex couple’s ability to adopt
children. As of now, a small percentage of states legally support gay
couples adopting a child. Some states have made it illegal and others
are undecided. Communities in support of gay families adopting feel
that it would not be detrimental to the children adopted and that same
sex couples are just as capable of parenting as straight couples. They
also would argue that with the extremely high rate of divorced parents
and single parent households, society should not be concerned with a
same sex couple parenting children, married or not.

With the high rate of divorce, other communities believe that same sex
partners would only add to the strife of children growing up in broken
households. Their concern is that the rate of children being born or
adopted into single parent or unmarried households would destroy the
idea of a child needing a mother and father in the home. Marriage has
been slowly changing from a lifelong commitment to an expendable
commodity; divorce rates have steadily soared and unmarried parents
have become much more common. The opposing party feels that adding gay
parents to the list of changes would only harm children growing up in
these households. Keeping homosexuals from marrying and parenting
seems to be a good option in their opinion.

Marriage has drastically changed over the last 50 years. Divorce rates
are higher and children living in single parent households are more
common. People of all sexualities are fighting for their right to be
recognized as equal. The idea of one person taking another’s rights
away because of the person they choose to love seems unreasonable, yet
some feel it is what will save marriage and commitment. The issue here
is who is really affected by same sex partners and is it really
detrimental to society. Marriage and divorce is not new and neither is
homosexuality. It is not society’s place to tell someone who they can
and cannot love. There may never be a real answer as to who is right
and who is wrong but equality for all is undeniably necessary for all.
Both sides of this argument have one strong belief in common: They are
doing what they believe is right and best for society today.

Friday, October 30, 2009

How do you define feminism?

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by Priscilla P

Before I started getting involved with the WRC, I wasn't quite sure what being a feminist entailed. Words that came to mind were independent, empowered, and standing up against "the man."
Curious, I decided to go and ask a few people about their definition of feminist, and if they considered themselves a feminist. What are your answers to these questions?

How do you define feminism?

“I think it's the notion of women obtaining completely equal rights with men in all areas of society, as well as having the choice to act/dress as feminine as they please (I find radical feminist types who yell at other women for wanting to dress nicely to be completely counterproductive to the movement).”
Brian Kravitz

“I define feminism strictly as the belief that women deserve the same treatment as men.”
Alex McEntee

“For me, feminism is the process of becoming aware of gender roles in our culture and then finding a means to counteract or change them, because I believe these gender roles have a largely negative impact on our progress as intelligent human beings. As these gender roles are initially forced upon us or encouraged by our upbringing, collective consciousness, and a large majority of our popular culture, they maintain a dominant influence in they way we live our lives and upholding females as inferior to males. Feminism is recognizing the way gender roles have impacted and continue to affect our self esteem, social interactions, available opportunities, and rights as human beings. Though, as I learn more about feminism, perhaps my definition will become more complex or change.”
Molly Karinen

“Feminism is a movement of a group of people rallied around the social, political, and economic equality of woman attributed by the shift of woman from households to manufacturing jobs due to WW1. As time progressed woman found themselves in the workplace under a pretext of values on how woman should act. Feminism wishes to rise above the glass ceiling of these prescribed normalities.”
Paul Fleck

“I am going to attempt to reconstruct some ideas I got from speaking with different feminist Philosophy students:
Philosophically there are several phases of feminism, the first being a viewpoint that women and men varied in an unreconcilable way (from a subjective viewpoint), such that a Man could never understand womanly-things and visa versa. It was a separatist theory. Assumed in this theory is the statement that if men and women have different subjective experiences, each is equally valid to one's self.
Then there was a period of what we usually think of as feminism, the equality of women in a broader sense, but not in terms of a subjectivity (at least not formally). This is what you might think of when you think of suffrage, and general womens-rights activism.
After this there is a splintering of the concept, which was way too complicated for me to try to deeply understand.”
Kevin Folk

“Feminism seeks to break down and examine gender constructs in order to liberate all sexes from oppression.”
Fallon Roderick

Do you consider yourself a feminist?

"I am most definitely a feminist because I do not agree with the disadvantageous positions that primarily women experience as women are cast as the lesser sex."
Molly Karinen

"Although I strive for social equality on many levels including women's rights, I do not consider myself to be a feminist. I believe the right of being a feminist should be reserved for a selection of woman that understand the history and difficulties that has been placed around their place in humanity over the years, and should not be an excuse, offense, or rational for any other agenda except equality."
Paul Fleck

"I am the manifestation of feminism, so yes, I am most definitely a feminist. I consider myself to be an ecofeminist"
Fallon Roderick

"Yes I am probably some sort of feminist, but more realistically I would hold the view of a general equality, one not specific to women."
Kevin Folk

Thursday, October 29, 2009

It's not personal, it's business

By Taliajae Freedomfighter

Training has been intense lately. My outlet for processing the issues that are closest to my heart is writing. Thus I write a lot.

Today we were discussing sexism. Like all issues of oppression this can be a touchy one for many people. It affects everyone everyday. We are talking about how oppression is supported by our institutions and government, creating a trickle down affect. Examples of institutions are media, education, laws, criminal justice, workplace, etc.

At one point a male in the class joked about how our discussion was making men look like the "bad guy". Another student pointed out how that really isn't the point. There is no bad guy, so to speak. Shortly after that comment the same man added that he felt that if women would really try harder that men would definitely support them as far as gaining equality. He then went on to say something to the effect of "Women just need to work harder instead of just doing nothing, until they do, of course there will be sexism". He basically was placing the blame on women.

Instantly, half of the class raised their hands to rebuttal, including myself. As people took turns explaining to him that women are not, in fact, to blame for their own oppression I started to think about who was and why do we get so defensive about this issue.

When it comes down to it, no one really is to blame. Its not one man who is perpetrating all of the sexism in the world; just as it’s not one woman allowing the men to oppress her. No woman is helping sexism exist. Sure, we see women shaking their booty on TV or acting inappropriate in an adult film and think, "Jesus, she is only making it worse". But in reality it is only the system we have set up in society that is created to hold the oppressed people down. This influences women into thinking that their greatest worth is their appearance and body type.

This leads me to my second point; the issue of oppression is not personal, its just business. A lot of people automatically assume that someone talking about how men are the people in power think that person is trying to blame the man. It isn’t about you man. Oppression is a system of control that society has set up to keep the oppressed powerless and the powerful even stronger. This isn’t saying that each man on the planet is oppressing the women in his life every day. Some men do. They abuse and rape and belittle women. But there are many more that support and love and encourage women in their lives. It’s just a matter of men benefiting from sexism and women loosing out. Just as white people benefit from racism and people of color don't.

Lets stop arguing about who is to blame and start banning together to create some real change. Women can make a difference but it’s the men who are allies that can help us get the message through.

You're so vain, I don't dress like this for you....

By Taliajae Freedomfighter

I wear a full spectrum of clothing. I love jeans and 'skater' Tees (as we called them when I was 18). I also love big, baggy sweatshirts to snuggle up in when its chilly outside. Tennis shoes are my preferred pair of footwear and for summer I go with flip flops. In essence I tend to dress for comfort.

Having said this I do love to dress up once in a while. I'll wear a moderately short skirt, a low cut tank top, knee high boots or stilettos. I will do my hair up and put on more makeup than usual and go strut my stuff. Why do I do this you ask?

For me. Not you.

I think a lot of men assume that when a woman dresses 'provocative, scantily clad, sexy' what ever you call it, that you are doing it for them. Sometimes we probably are, but I think most of the time we do it for ourselves. I like to dress sexy to make myself feel good about the way I look. I don't normally put a lot of stock into my appearance but sometimes a girl just wants to get fancy. This is were the message gets blurred.

When a woman walks down the street in an outfit that shows off her curves or enhances her body then society gets the impression that she is trying to attract men. This isn't always the case. The problem is that then she puts herself in a position of possible cat calls, stares and even stalking. Sadly this is all too common.

Why do women have to worry about the way they dress attracting men who might harass or hurt them? I do. When I go out at night and am wearing a skirt I instinctively scan the street I'm on for men who may be paying attention. When I walk to my car at night I immediately look in the back seat and under it. When a man calls out to me on the street I glare at him and then check once in a while to make sure that he isn't following me.

These fears are instilled in us at a very early age. I got a lot of the rules from my mom. "The world is not a safe place for girls. Watch out for men in strange cars. Don't walk alone at night. Check the back seat for a kidnapper." Society has taught us that men get to act on their sex drive which then puts women is a position to be prey.

I have to daughters. I don't want to see them fear the streets at night. I don't want them to be one of the 60% of women who are assaulted in their lives. I want to fight back. Take back the night. Stand up against sexism and sexual violence.

I am a vagina warrior, until the violence stops

Let me tell ya 'bout the birds and the bees

By: Taliajae Freedomfighter

Let's face it. Sex education is seriously lacking in most schools, even completely gone in others. On top of that there is very limited reproductive health education as well. This results in a lot of mis-understandings about our bodies as women and how to protect ourselves, as well as our reproductive rights. Lets get down to business...

Did you know that when you go in for your annual physical if you don’t specifically request to be tested for all STDs then they will only test you for cervical cancer. I did not know this until a few years ago. It was slightly unsettling to me. If you want to get tested for STDs and HIV specifically request it from your doctor. It is your right to know.

If you need reproductive care such as tests, pregnancy testing or counseling, pregnancy options, general education, birth control and contraceptives, etc... You can find all these at Planned Parenthood. They are a great option if you are low income and need immediate care.

Please don’t confuse Planned Parenthood with other "free pregnancy clinics" otherwise known as fake clinics. Sadly there are a few religious groups who set these up all over your community advertising as pregnancy testing clinics but once you are tested they then push their abstinence only agenda and pressure women into having the child no matter the circumstances. These clinics are very unsafe and disturbing. Educate other women on them.

Women have a right to choose what is best for them as far as pregnancy options. Keeping the child, giving it up for adoption, or abortion. I would never take that choice away from a woman. We deserve the right to choice and education to keep ourselves healthy and safe.

Here are some excellent links to more information on reproductive health:

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-center/lesbian-gay-bisexual-transgender-lgbt-services-26027.htm

http://www.feministcampus.org/act/cpc/default.asp

http://feminist.org/